Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Kindergarten and Kizzy

As most of you know, we enrolled Kizzy in Connections Academy at the beginning of the school year. CA is an online public school and a very good program. It worked out great for Kizzy for the first semester, as a matter of fact she made honor roll her first semester.  Then I got sick, Christmas break came, and I had my D&C on the first day back from Christmas break.  The second semester didn't start as smoothly. Lots of attitude, lots of meltdowns and lots of resistance. I figured it was a phase and that transitioning back after all that our family went through, as well as coming back from a 2 week vacation was going to take some time to get in the swing of things. 2 months later the meltdowns, attitude and resistance had multiplied and there was zero cooperation or learning going on. So, for the sake of her education, we enrolled Kizzy into South Elementary, our local public school.  So far it's been good. She enjoys it and has been having a good attitude at school and at home.  She is slightly behind in her language arts area, but spot on in math and everything else. That is a huge relief considering she had 2 months of questionable education.  Every morning for 1/2 hour she gets specialized focus on her language arts work. Her teacher is confident that she will be right on track by the end of the school year. She has adjusted well, for which I am very grateful. Here she is on her first day at South.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Losing Baby

So, the last 2 months have been very eventful, to say the very least. One week before Thanksgiving I found out I was about 5 weeks pregnant. We went on vacation during the week of Thanksgiving for a family reunion with Kyle's side of the family in the Black Hills of South Dakota. It was a very enjoyable vacation, and the last few days I had before I started feeling sick. Morning sickness hit me around 6 weeks with all my previous pregnancies so I was not surprised when I started feeling queasy just a few days after Thanksgiving.    In under a week, that queasy feeling had turned into full blown nausea, puking, and just being sick. Standing up made me sick. Being near food made me vomit. Things started falling apart around the house. Laundry was piling up. Kids were wearing pjs all day and watching way too much TV. Dishes were not getting washed and messes from the kids kept stacking on top each other. We were running out of groceries, while at the same time I couldn't cook. It was chaotic and stressful for our whole family. Kyle was running himself ragged trying to get what he could done before and after work, as well as taking care of me and the kids when he was home. The kids were starting to act up more and more as their world was (messily) turned upside down. And I was laying in bed day after day looking at the chaos around me and feeling horrible about it, but vomiting every time I stood up to do anything.

One day in particular, in fact one week to the day before Christmas day, I started vomiting. I continued long after there was anything in my system. In fact I started to vomit blood and I felt like there was something stuck in my throat and my body was desperately trying to get it out. I spent many hours over the toilet that night, my body refusing to calm down and nothing but blood coming up. It was by lucky chance that our home teacher stopped by our house that night to pick up something from Kyle. He stayed and the 2 of them gave me a blessing.  I finally was able to stop vomiting and had a restless sleep that night, still feeling like something was stuck in my throat.  The next morning I couldn't swallow. I was weak from the ordeal from the night before and I literally thought there was something stuck in my throat, obstructing my esophagus. I went into the ER that morning.  It was determined that my throat had become so irritated from all the vomiting that I had rubbed my esophagus raw and was throwing up blood from the lining of my esophagus, causing it to become so irritated and swollen, it closed shut. They numbed my throat, put me on and IV to treat me for dehydration and gave me zofran for nausea. They set me up to follow up with and OB the following day.  I met with the OB the Friday before Christmas. He ordered an ultrasound to pinpoint the exact due date and just making sure everything was ok, given what I had been through.
Christmas Eve was the ultra sound, and we were all excited. We had told the kids about 2 weeks before about the baby. We felt they needed to know why mommy had been so sick. Kyle always loves seeing the ultrasound and hearing the heart beat, so it was decided that the whole family would come to the ultrasound so Kyle could be a part of it.
That's when we found out there was something wrong. The ultrasound showed no heartbeat and the baby was measuring at 8 weeks, whereas I should have been closer to 10. They sent me to the lab for a blood sample to test my HCG level and had me return 2 days later for another blood sample to compare the 2 numbers. The first sample showed my HCG level as being astronomically high. To quote the nurse "it's ONLY ever that high when there are twins, or a chromosone abnormality" well, there was only one baby in the ultrasound, so....the 2nd blood sample showed still an abnormally high count, but the number had dropped. The number is not supposed to drop in a healthy baby. The following week was another ultrasound to confirm what we all knew, my baby had stopped growing.
So this past Monday I went in for surgery to have a D&C, since my body was not miscarrying the baby on my own. At that point the baby had stopped growing 4 weeks previous and my hormone levels were still so high, that I was still sick all the time.
Right now, I'm kind of numb. I feel robbed of my baby. I feel the last several weeks of extreme sickness were for nothing. I miss the baby, even though I never got to know it. I'm not nauseated anymore, but still feel a little "off", I suppose the recovery of the surgery. I want people to know what's going on, and what's been happening to our family, because I want them to understand. But at the same time, I'm not exactly in the mood to talk about it. Some moments I feel fine, then all of a sudden Kizzy will sit on my lap and say, "I'm sad that our baby died." or Karter will be extra adorable and out of habit I'll call him 'baby' and remember, that for a little while, he was going to be a big brother. But there are blessings too. Our house is clean again, I'm only 1 load of laundry behind, and we live in the best ward in the world, where friends are so willing to bring us meals this past week as I'm bouncing back from this whole ordeal.
So, now you all know why I haven't been blogging, or calling, or even leaving the house. But, I'm on the mend (physically, anyway) and I still believe that there is a little spirit waiting to join our family, they will just join us a little later than we thought they would.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Personality update 3

Karter lately:

Oh, my sweet baby boy is turning me gray. This boy is SOOO busy. I cannot keep up with him. He's physical and has no fear. In the last month alone he's given himself a black eye, a cut across his face, and a lump on his forehead the size of his fist. The number of times I've caught him in situations where my heart stopped beating is too numerous to count. He goes on kicks. For a few days that kick was to do everything within his power to sit on the middle of the kitchen table. Then his kick was to try his hardest to climb on top of my headboard (which is a shelf style). Then he was bound and determined to fit inside the dishwasher. Next was trying his hardest to open the oven at all times. And today he decided that he would do whatever it took to get to the toilet scrubber brush. Disgusting. He even brought the one from the basement bathroom upstairs when I hid the ones in the upstairs bathrooms. I can't remember the last time I relaxed while he was awake. Once I was on the phone with Kyle for a total of 3 minutes. In that 3 minutes I pulled Karter off the kitchen table twice, pulled him off of standing on the kitchen chairs 7 times. Stopped him from playing with the knobs on the stove 4 times and pulled him off of the dishwasher 10 times. The next night I put the extra baby gate up and blocked him from the kitchen while I made dinner.  He screamed the whole time. He is so cute and very affectionate. That little stinker can say Daddy as clear as a bell and even started say Eee-eee for Kizzy and Dan-da for Kendal, but he will NOT say Mama. When I try to get him to, he just gives me a sneaky little smile. He loves hugs and kisses from everyone and will initiate cuddling with his big brother and sister. He likes doing a fake laugh at everything. More than any of my children he thrives on one on one attention.

Personality update 2

Kendal lately:

Kendal's version of the toddler tantrum is an open mouth bawl. He's still mild mannered and doesn't get angry. I've never seen him lose control and scream and throw his body on the floor, ever. But he's very fond of crying at the drop of the hat. Everything makes him cry lately. I'm kind of getting desensitized to the sound of his cry. I'm working on being more sympathetic to him, because it seems like that is what he needs.
 He is the self appointed police of everything. On one hand, he's pretty aware of following house rules. On the other hand he is not very nice to Karter. He's also going through a phase where if I ask him to do something, he does one of two things. Thing #1: zero acknowledgement of my existence. Thing #2 is this mouthy, defiant attitude that drives me nuts. Example: "Kendal, please sit in your chair and while you finish eating." "YOU sit in YOUR chair." or "It's time to clean up your toys." "YOU clean up YOUR toys."  *grrrr* Anyway, this kid needs to be a stand up comedian when he grows up, just because of the face expressions this boy can make. He can look like 8 different people just by the faces he can pull.
I don't know if you do this, but sometimes Kyle and I like to speculate what our kids might be good at when they grow up, based on things we see in their personality now. We've been saying that Kizzy could be a nurse ever since she was a baby and we still see that in her. Kendal I can see him being some sort of engineer. He seems to be mechanically minded, and slightly abstract, so maybe an architect. The capability of reading people, or sensing their emotions, or empathizing does not come to this boy naturally, so I don't think he could be in a field where he had to deal with any of that. I'm frequently at a loss of how to teach him that his actions hurt others. He doesn't seem to understand. If I tell him he needs to go to a sibling and say "I'm sorry, how can I make you feel better." he's quick to do it, because he really loves his brother and sister. But getting him to understand that he caused the hurt and he can't do that anymore is where we are struggling. I've told many people this and as he gets older I really think it's true, I think he has OCD. I'm fairly certain it cannot be diagnosed at his age, so all we can do is watch and help him when he gets fixated on something. He's currently doing this really cute, really sweet thing where he'll repeat your name 6 or 7 times before you get a chance to respond. When you finally say "what?" he says, with a sly little smile on his face, "I like you." I love it! It can brighten the grumpiest of moments.

Personality update 1

Kizzy lately:
Boy, this girl never stops! She has an explanation for EVERYTHING, even things she knows nothing about she can talk about it until next week. I love hearing how her mind works, but I'll tell ya, listening to that girl is exhausting. No joke, it takes energy to follow her train of thought. Today I said to her, "Sweetie, I know that you have so much to say and so many ideas, but sometimes, you're not letting other people have turns sharing their thoughts. Sometimes, you need to listen and let other people have a turn talking." This was after she flipped out at Kendal when he tried to ask me a question while she was talking and had been talking non stop for over 5 minutes.Then later at the grocery store I had to gently pull her out of people's way and tell her to pay attention and watch where she is going. Every time that happened she went on a 3 minute speech about how sometimes people get in the way, and that's ok, because people make mistakes, and that just happens. Finally, out of frustration, I pulled her aside and said, "Katherine, I know that people make mistakes, but sometimes when I have to remind you to watch where you are going, over and over again, I don't want you to tell me all about it, I want you to say 'ok, Mom' and then you need to pay attention." She just gets so caught up in talking and explaining and questioning and narrating that she sometimes is completely oblivious to what's going on around her. Unfortunately I have to cut her off multiple times a day and tell her that she needs to wait to talk because I really need to... (talk on the phone, pay a bill, fill an order, take care of her brothers, respond to an email, make a grocery list, you get the idea). I'm absolutely not exaggerating when I say this girl does not stop talking unless she is asked to. She has so much enthusiasm and curiosity  and energy, and imagination, she's incredible. She is bright and quick and caring and I wouldn't trade her for anything. I worry to no end how to guide her to use all this passion for good. She's a walking stick of dynamite. She has so many emotions in her at all times that she's on the verge of exploding at all times good and bad. Most things that come out of her have a sense of urgency. Examples include a frantic, "MOM! MOM! MOM! I accidentally put my underwear down the laundry chute! It was an accident!" Um, ok kiddo, not a big deal, but thanks for making me think your brother was choking. OR the moment she burst into the bathroom while I'm showering, again frantic, "MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! Is this a baby tooth or a big tooth?" Gee thanks for the privacy, and the heart attack. All kidding aside, some moments I want to pull my hair out, and other moments I want to laugh my head off.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Taco Chili

This is not a usual post about the goings on of my family, but while I was eating dinner tonight, I thought, 'I need to post this recipe.'  We call it Taco Chili and it has a lot of reasons why I feel the need to share
Reason #1 -It's tasty.
Reason #2- It's pretty cheap to make
Reason #3- It's a hearty meal and very filling
Reason #4- I'm not an expert, but I'm fairly certain it's gluten free
Reason #5- It's EASY
Reason #6- My kids eat it.
Reason #7- There are many many ways to mix and match the ingredients

So first I will share the recipe as I learned it, but at the end I'm going to share the different variations I have found work really well.

TACO CHILI
Combine together in crockpot:
        - 1 can tomato sauce
        - 1 can diced tomatoes
        - 1 can corn (drained)
        - 2 cans chili beans
        - 1/2 lb. ground beef cooked
        - 1 envelope of taco seasoning
Cook it on low for 3-4 hours Garnish with sour cream and shredded cheese. Serve with tortilla chips

Variations:
Tomato Sauce and Diced Tomatoes - I have used all sorts of variations of these, depending what I have on hand. I've used only diced tomatoes because I didn't have any sauce, I've used tomato sauce WITH diced tomatoes. But seriously anything works. My favorite way to make it is to use 2 cans of diced tomatoes and 1 can of tomato sauce. We like tomatoes.

Corn- YOU HAVE TO DRAIN THE CORN!!!! I cannot stress this enough. It's horrible if you forget. That being said, if you are a fan of corn by all means double the amount! I have also used frozen corn and it works just as well.

Chili Beans- Make sure it's chili beans and not pinto beans. I have found that beans are the easiest and cheapest way to bulk it up. If you want extras for leftovers or for another meal later on, add more beans! You don't need to double the entire recipe to make a larger amount and it doesn't compromise on the flavor or end result.

Ground Beef- I have made this with ground turkey, chicken, venison, buffalo and elk. I didn't like the elk, but everything else was ok. Turkey and beef are the best. I've also used leftover meat from taco night and dumped it in. And on more than one occasion we've gone vegetarian with no meat at all. We like it both ways.

Taco Seasoning- When I'm making it for Kyle's deer hunting weekends, they like it spicy and I add more seasoning. If I'm making it for the kids I go lighter. If your like me and buy your taco seasoning in bulk from Costco and not in envelopes, I recommend about 1/4 cup unless spicy is your thing, then I'd say 1/3 cup. If McCormick Taco Seasoning is not gluten free, I have seen on pinterest ways to make your own seasoning blends.

I've also left mine in my crock pot for much longer than 4 hours because of time constraints. Really it doesn't matter, everything is already cooked through and the crock pot is to heat it up. Just keep it on low.

And really, don't forget the sour cream and chips! It makes all the difference. I felt obligated to share something that is literally the EASIEST meal I make, my kids eat it (yes, even Kizzy), and it's one of my favorites.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Kizzy's Rainbow Birthday

 Kizzy picked out all of her decorations and food. She looked at pictures on pinterest with me and planned out everything that she wanted. The exception being the rainbow balloons in the picture below. I will take credit for that. I did not see it on pinterest, I just thought it up and surprised her with it.


 The inside of the cake was different colored layers. I forgot to take a picture of the inside.


 Kizzy's Rainbow drinks.
 We surprised her on her birthday morning with a balloon cascade. She loved it.

 She took the opening of presents very seriously. No matter how excited she was for what ever was inside, she just plowed through until they were all open.

 And finally the surprise of her life. She had been begging for a scooter earlier in the summer and I kind of suggested that she wouldn't get one. So she was very very surprised to open this PRINCESS scooter. She was one happy girl. Happy Birthday to my big 5 year old!